Random Stuff

Lately, I've been getting a lot of weird dreams. Most of them involving me having a boyfriend haha! I don't really care being single for a long time and all. It doesn't bother me that much until I feel like I have to be in a relationship all the time like it's a need and not a want. I always see that nowadays, like people changing partners in a blink of an eye or having crushes on popular people just for fame or some other situations that are similar to them. I don't hate these kind of people but I don't particularly like them either.

Ok, back to the main topic! These dreams I've been having are weird to me because it's like so funny. I guess I do feel lonely without realizing it until I dream about boyfriends and such. They were great dreams though, but dreams are just dreams.

I don't know, maybe being single for almost 2 years (wow) now have affected me a bit more than I thought it would. It's not really a bad thing but sometimes it does get pretty lonely when my friends are all busy with their own lives and all. Or when I go out to a shopping mall and walk around alone with guys staring at me and smiling and saying weird things to me, that's when I really wish that I had a boyfriend to protect me from them. Yeah, just a protector. Lol.

At times I do get irritated seeing couples all lovey-dovey in front of me like they're the only ones alive but I guess those things do happen to certain people and it can't be helped. I don't envy them nor hate on them just because they're in a relationship and I'm not, but I do feel jealous of them for having a partner who they can talk to whenever they want and you know, all that couple stuff.

For now, I would like to just focus on my studies. I wouldn't want these things to distract me from it even though I'm pretty good at balancing these two things. But now, I prefer to just avoid it completely so that my future is secured. I'll also just go with the flow, if I were to suddenly meet a guy who loves me and all that stuff and we were to get married early and my parents approve of him then sure, I'd just do it. However, if I am fated to die alone then that's fine too. I mean, not literally but, you get the point.

I imagine my future self inventing robots or learning about outer-space or becoming a scientist to cure all sorts of deadly diseases and it excites me a lot. I wouldn't want anything to prevent me from achieving my goals although they are all pretty heavy and I don't know if I could even handle it all but, I'll just redha and give in to Allah SWT. I will work hard but I won't expect too much. Yeah, it's settled. That's all.

Thank you :)