Hey. Sorry haven't post anything in a while. I was a bit busy. Anyways, this post is about our so-called 'relationship'. Well, he's changed. A lot. I've been crying everyday whenever i think about him. I miss the old him. A lot. Last week, we IM-ed on facebook. He said he miss me. How can i believe that when he didn't even say 'Hi' to me? He even forgot our 6 months Anniversary -.-
Well, i tried not to care much about that. But, i'm worried. Sad. And terrified. I'm in love and i'm terrified. Sometimes i get the feeling that it's going to be over. This month maybe. I don't know. But i want to meet him. I really do. But i feel like he doesn't even care anymore. I'm starting to doubt his feelings for me. We're still together. For now.
I guess i should see this coming. Nothing really lasts forever. Love lasts forever but i don't think he loves me anymore. I don't feel like he still needs me like before. I don't think he even misses me. Or even care if we didn't talk for 5 days. But yeah, we'll never know.
I talked to my friends. I talked to his friends, Abang Hazree, Fazli and Haikal. They all said the same thing, 'be patient'. I guess i should. I'm trying to. But, the pain still keeps haunting me. Making me cry, emo and stuff. Then, i would think about those 4 girls. Which adds up the pain and make me want to jump off a building -.- Kill myself so that i won't have to deal with the pain anymore, they say. I'm emo because i don't feel needed anymore. I feel nothing. Just, nothing. I should pray but i can't cause it's the time of the month -.-
Well then, he said he needed a break for a month. He wanted to focus on his studies. I'm just curious to how can he online facebook and not even talk to me? He wants a month. I guess i should give him one whole month then. Hmmm..
I feel disappointed, really. He didn't even make an a effort to talk to me. 5 months ago, before he changed, even if he was sick or tired or something, he would still text me. He would still talk to me. But now, heh. Takde mood lah, apalah. So many excuses. Then i saw he talked to another girl. Which leads to me crying till i fell asleep. That hurt. A lot. I was hurt badly and he doesn't even know about it. Yeah, i'm pathetic, i know. Once you're in my shoes, you'll know how bad it hurts.
Till then, ttyl.
Madihah.
