Over. For good. Or bad? I don't know.

I can't believe it happened again. I mean, I really thought that we'd be together forever as how you would always say. I'm still in shock and it probably would never end.

It ended on Monday, 23rd of July. 

I can't believe that you did that to me. Cheating on me. Like, WHAT? *sigh* 

You gave a lot of excuses for doing it, and then say that you don't want to leave me. But, it was already too late. You should've thought twice. Or even, thrice. Or more. I feel betrayed. Betrayed by him. His friends. And some other people. They know and they saw, but they never said anything. I mean, I was nice to them for god's sake! And they betrayed me. He betrayed me. That stupid btch betrayed me. I seriously wish that I could go to your school and just look at you and ask, why?

I loved you. A lot. Even though you did a lot of things that made me mad and ignore you, I still loved you. I know that you loved me too. But you were just too stupid to handle it in a right way. It was like you had a 'backup plan' for whenever I ignore you. You had someone to talk to when I wasn't there. So, you didn't really care. Yes, I know. And, I know that you know that I wanted to break up even before I knew the truth. I almost did it. But, I didn't do it for a good reason. I didn't do it because I still loved you. So much. And it hurts to know that you never really cared at the first place.

You expect me to give you another chance? No, never. You disappointed me. I've been giving out chances and all you ever do is let me down. Now, I see you talking to other girls like it was nothing, and also your twitcon.. wow. Just, wow. And yeah, I was right. I was right all along. 

I miss the times when you told me that you like me. At that time, I was the center of attention. Of your attention. You didn't talk to other girls, but me. You really really liked me at that time. I miss that. And the time when you tried really hard to make me like you back. You'd text me everyday, all day, non-stop. Those three months of you liking me were amazing. 

"Hope you're happy without me." you said, on my birthday, last month.

I'm not really sure what you mean by that but yeah, I hope the same for you. (maybe)

"I miss you." you said, on the first day of Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

At that time, you made me confused. Like a lot. But I just acted as if it was nothing and just replied your whatsapp. 

I still love you I fcking hate you right now. And also that girl. I feel like throwing a really big chair at you both and cutting off your legs because... Yeah whatever.

Well, I can't do anything about it now. It hurts though. It still hurts. A lot. And I miss you. So much. Thanks for everything. Bye x

With love, Madihah.