Random entry

Well hello there! Ahah, yes i'm bored. Just wanted to update about something. I'm at Kota Bharu, Kelantan right now. Or should i call it, New Castle? lol ok lame. Anyway, i'm so bored here. Sometimes i'll be hyper and disturb some people. Haha. Funny. Well, i dunno what to say. I'm listening to Bruno Mars's song, "It will rain". Yeah, i like that song. It reminds me of something. Something.. hmm. Well, how are you guys doing? You guys ok? No? Or am i talking to myself? Oh hell yeah i am. Boredom is so boring like seriously. Eh. I'm craving for Milo Supreme Mcflurry now. But McDonald's is so far from my grandma's house. Damn! Oh well.

I'm okay. I'm fine. I guess. I have tons of stories. But i'll write it later cause i'm lazy. Haha. I'm bored. Maigoodness. My boringness will make you people feel bored. Yeah i know. But i don't care cause i'm awesome liddis 8) Hehe. Eh, i miss my friends and my cousins. I want to go to school, but then again i don't. Haha lol. Hmm, i miss Tasnim, Anis, Hannah, Nihad, Aiman, Alif and Najihah. Seriously, bila nak jumpa lagiii? :c As for my friends, i miss Farisah, Qistina, Putry, Syakirin, Ummi, Myra, Diana and Erianna. I miss all of them. I hope we'll be in the same class together. If not, then that's just sad.

I miss you guys a lot. I miss school too. Well, not really haha. But yeah, i miss you guys. I miss the time when we would go to the toilet ramai-ramai without getting caught from the teachers. Yeah, i miss that. I laff you gais so machh ♥ I hope next year we'll be in the same class. Aminn!




With love, Madihah.

Hangout at Ampang Point

Well, hello there! Yesterday i went to Ampang Point with Farisah, Abang Faiz and Alkeef. Hm, for the story to make sense, it's like this :-

Well, Alkeef is actually Faiz's cousin. He is form 2. He liked Farisah, and then since i'm her bestfriend, he added me on facebook. Then we talked and stuff and he told me he liked Farisah. But Farisah didn't like him that way. Then, weeks after that, Alkeef didn't have a crush on Farisah. Instead, he had a crush on me. He said he likes me and all, but i didn't accept him. Cause, well, we knew each other for only a week. So yeah, it's hard for me to accept someone i barely know. So then, Alkeef wanted to meet me, he made plans and stuff. So we decided to meet at Ampang Point since it's easier to go there. I invited Farisah and Abang Faiz to come along. So here's what happened :-

Farisah came to my house, and we waited for my dad to siapsiap. Then we went to Ampang Point and arrived there at 11.30am. Fara and i went to eat at McD's. The delivery guys there are like gatal gila -.- And the girl-workers only laughed. It's so pathetic, you know? So, we had breakfast there and stuff. While we wait for Alkeef and Abang Faiz to come, we round satu AP. Then met Abang Faiz at Popular. Fara malu gila and like ran away haha. Abang Faiz went to pick up Alkeef downstairs, so Fara and I bought a bag for myself. Then met Alkeef and Abang Faiz. Fara and I didn't know what to do, so we went to starbucks. Alkeef and Abang Faiz sat beside Fara and I. We were quiet and Fara kept on looking to the other side. Alkeef said hi to me and i just smiled. Then Alkeef took my dslr and look at the pictures which is kinda embarrassing for me. I didn't really mind though. But, the first time i heard Alkeef's voice, i was shocked. Seriously. His voice is like a budakbudak kind of voice and dia pelat S. And yeah, he's so annoying. But in a cute way. Haha. 

That boy right there

Well, hello. Haven't blogged in a while cause i was lazy and stuff. Hm, anyway, yeah i fought with a form 2 girl. Yeah whatever. We both didn't apologize to each other, she thought she won. Haha. Anyway, after Hafiz and i broke up, i started to layan all the people. Dulu, i wouldn't layan guys much. So anyway, i started to chat with some guys and stuff. I'm not a playgirl okay -.- They tegur-ed me first, so i layan jelah. And then months after that, a form 1 guy confessed that he likes me. And then a form 2 guy also confessed. And then another form 2 guy also confessed. But i told them that i'm not ready. Because i still have feelings for a certain someone. We broke up not because we didn't love each other, it's because we had to. Yeah, i still love him. Always have, always do. And i miss him so much. That boy right there, i was once his everything. Now i'm just nothing.

xxx

We're over.

It's over. Yeah. Me and him, over. He said, "I just want to be single". And then I said, "You should've told me earlier", followed by some things we both said. Yes, he should've told me earlier. Not now. Why now? Oh, the excuses you gave me. Not to think the time when you skyped with another girl yesterday. Oh, the pain. Yes, the pain. I cried in front of my cousin and i hope she didn't see me. Qistina and Anyssa called me, they asked me if i'm okay. Well, i don't know really. I feel numb. My heart is crushed. The 6 months, gone. Just, gone. Should i slap you, or be happy for you? Hmmm..

Well, today was a bad day. I need to throw something.. at myself... and die... slowly... in front of him. I'm still in shock. Not even happy right now. The pain, will never go away. I, will never stop crying. He, will be happy. Without me. Well duh, he didn't talk to me for a month, he looks happy. And skyped with another girl. That shows that he doesn't need me. At all. I know, i should move on. How can i when we broke up just like THAT? Hm, so this is how heartbreak feels like. I hate myself. For loving him. For liking him in the first place. He didn't even call me. Nor skype with me. Nor see me facetoface. That's hurtful, really.

I don't know if i hate you or not. You sure are a jerk. And a douche, that's what you said ;) But for sure, i still love you. Why? Because you made me happy. I love people who makes me happy. But to you, i'm no one. A nobody. Just another girl you talk to. You don't even give a shit if i didn't talk to you. I care too much. And you care too little. Oh how i wish i could tell you all this right now. But yeah, you wouldn't even care :) Oh and, 

I miss you.

Goodbye.

Terrified

Hey. Sorry haven't post anything in a while. I was a bit busy. Anyways, this post is about our so-called 'relationship'. Well, he's changed. A lot. I've been crying everyday whenever i think about him. I miss the old him. A lot. Last week, we IM-ed on facebook. He said he miss me. How can i believe that when he didn't even say 'Hi' to me? He even forgot our 6 months Anniversary -.-

Well, i tried not to care much about that. But, i'm worried. Sad. And terrified. I'm in love and i'm terrified. Sometimes i get the feeling that it's going to be over. This month maybe. I don't know. But i want to meet him. I really do. But i feel like he doesn't even care anymore. I'm starting to doubt his feelings for me. We're still together. For now.

I guess i should see this coming. Nothing really lasts forever. Love lasts forever but i don't think he loves me anymore. I don't feel like he still needs me like before. I don't think he even misses me. Or even care if we didn't talk for 5 days. But yeah, we'll never know.

I talked to my friends. I talked to his friends, Abang Hazree, Fazli and Haikal. They all said the same thing, 'be patient'. I guess i should. I'm trying to. But, the pain still keeps haunting me. Making me cry, emo and stuff. Then, i would think about those 4 girls. Which adds up the pain and make me want to jump off a building -.- Kill myself so that i won't have to deal with the pain anymore, they say. I'm emo because i don't feel needed anymore. I feel nothing. Just, nothing. I should pray but i can't cause it's the time of the month -.-

Well then, he said he needed a break for a month. He wanted to focus on his studies. I'm just curious to how can he online facebook and not even talk to me? He wants a month. I guess i should give him one whole month then. Hmmm..

I feel disappointed, really. He didn't even make an a effort to talk to me. 5 months ago, before he changed, even if he was sick or tired or something, he would still text me. He would still talk to me. But now, heh. Takde mood lah, apalah. So many excuses. Then i saw he talked to another girl. Which leads to me crying till i fell asleep. That hurt. A lot. I was hurt badly and he doesn't even know about it. Yeah, i'm pathetic, i know. Once you're in my shoes, you'll know how bad it hurts.

Till then, ttyl.
Madihah.

Ramadhan month

Oh, it's the time of the year again! Bulan puasaaa :) It's been great. I've completed all my fasting days. But unfortunately, i'm gonna have my 'thing' next week so i'll have to replace one week to complete one month of Ramadhan with starving and stuff. This month was good. It was okay. I've been better though. Okay blaaaaank. Anyways, exam is near. Oh damn -.- I have to get ready which i really hate to do. My mom said if i get good results, i get to play my laptop everyday again. But if my results are bad, like last time, my laptop will be GONE. Oh how i love my life -.- Hm, my birthday is on this Sunday. I don't want to celebrate it. And if my parents tricked me and brought me to Bubba Gump and asked the waitors to sing to me, i would literally run away. Seriously, it's scary. I mean, people watching you and then at Bubba Gump, you have to SING ALONG. Which is NOT a pleasant birthday. I hope this month will be great. I'm trying to lessen my sins here and there. Pffts. Kbye.

Pretty Little Liars

Okay, the title had something to do with my former 'bestfriend', my boyfriend, and my petbrother and some people who yang 'terasa'. Okay so, i had a fight with Farisah, as most of you might know. Well, she dated my ex, stabbed my back, said bad things about me and whatsoever. As for my boyfriend, we're still okay. I guess. Well, it's a long story and i'm just too lazy to tell so whatever. And my petbrother, who wants to 'putus kawan' with me but NOT anyone else. JUST ME. Like, wth? I asked why, he didn't answer. The suspense is killing me -.- Anyway, so yeah, my life has gone haywire. Allah is testing me, i know. Saya redha jelah. Well, i fought with Farisah since last month, i think. She said things like, "Madihah sial" and "Kau gentle sakai doh" and shitcrapstuff, whatever. I'm trying to calm myself. Serious tak sangka weh -.- Heh, now i know she's NOT my TRUE friend. And, barubaru ni she wanted to 'baik balik' but when we pass each other, she didn't say a word. And so, i try to ignore and let it slide. But, whenever i think about it, i feel the urge to throw things. That's not normal. Well, not to me.